In the last article I told you the story about an incredible woman called Tina Turner…who became one of the greatest musicians of all time despite the amount of abuse she had to face from her spouse.
In fact, it became so bad that she tried to commit suicide.
Finally, when she did get her divorce she abstained from relationships for a long long itme.
She was scared of putting herself into that kinda situation again.
She waited for 35 years before she allowed herself to get married again.
And that’s completely normal… we are scared of getting hurt again.
We are humans after all..we are all fragile when it comes to this area…. There is only that much abuse that we can take when it comes to the matters of the heart!
But here is the thing… you are only cheating yourself when allow that that fear of relationships to get into you.
When you are doing that you are giving the divorce full permission to walk all over you.
DO NOT do that… you are a 100 times better than that…we ALL are.
We are all alive for a very limited period of time.. don’t waste that time by being ruled and controlled by fear… it so not worth it.
Its important to heal yourself before you fall in love again,,, but don’t use this healing period as a shield to protect yourself from facing your fears again.
But then again… if you don’t allow yourself to heal and carry around your emotional baggage everywhere you are going to end up with a man who was similar to your ex.
Now here are some things that you need to keep in mind if you feel that you are scared of entering a new relationship:
- It is normal to feel like that. You have just gone through an enormously emotional time. Its normal to have this sort of extreme feelings.
- Eventually you will need to understand that letting this fear rule you is completely counter productive and not helping anyone.
- Time is limited.. the more time you waste cheating yourself the more you will regret later on in the future.. in fact you may even make hasty decisions later on to make up for the time lost and end up with another unfulfilling relationship.
- Use your divorce as an invaluable learning experience. Now you have much needed knowledge as to what you want and don’t want in a relationship. USE IT don’t waste it.
And there we go!! That ends the 2 parter…phew!
Here are some parting words of wisdom from Tina Turner herself:
And on that note..adios!