How is it going?
Lately I have been talking about various topics which, I think, are as relevant as possible for divorced women who are looking to fall in love again.
But today as I went back and re –read some of my articles I realized something.
In all of my articles I have presumed that eventually you will want to be loved again because you feel like you deserve it.
But what if you DON”T feel like you deserve to be in a happy relationship? I am afraid that I completely missed that scenario.
So today I am going to talk about that… and I do apologize for not talking about this before.
Good lord I love Dr. Wayne Dyer…. His books are an absolute must read.
Now here is a thing that a majority of women go through after a divorce..
Major major guilt.
“Could I have done anything to stop this from ever happening?”
“Is it my fault?”
We humans and especially us women tend to put the weight of the world on our shoulders.
“All that could have been better if I just did xyz differently..”
And as you keep on thinking about this more and more you fall deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole.
A rabbit hole of guilt, self-loathing and despair.
And while you are surrounded by so much guilt one simple truth will escape you:
No matter what.. a relationship which was bound to fail will fail and there is nothing you can do about it.
Think of it as a Murphy’s Law for relationships.
Now removing this feeling of guilt…well…its not easy.
As with anything that has been damaged your mind will require renovation…a surgery if you will.
In my program, Tomorrow Is Now, I dedicate a significant amount of time on working with your overall mental makeup.
I use a whole bunch of tools, chief among them being Neuro Linguistic Programming, to repair your mind from the damage that it invariably goes through because of the divorce.
But… fear not… we do need to do a “surgery” soon but for now let’s just apply the temporary first aid.
So when you go through guilt because of a divorce and find yourself unworthy of finding love again…this is what you do:
- Introspect: Think about the various thought processes that are going on in your head. Write them down and pinpoint which of those thoughts have any merit and which of those are a waste of time.
- Forgive and Move On: If you genuinely feel that you were wrong for some of the things that you did during your marriage then forgive yourself and move on. There is only so much wallowing that you can do. Acknowledge that you were wrong and move on.
- Realize that no one is gaining anything: You have to eventually realize a simple fact that no one is benefiting from you feeling guilty. In fact you are merely adding to the already existing negative energy around you.
- Understand this simple truth: No matter what.. you DESERVE a second chance and you DESERVE to be happy. You have to allow yourself to be happy and in a fulfilling relationship.
These 4 simple mental affirmations and tasks will get you started on the road to recovery at least.
If you want to completely reach your goal then you will need to undergo a complete mindset change.
In the next article, when I talk about Tomorrow Is Now, you will see how you can do that.