Majority of my articles are centered around divorced women who have been wronged by their husbands. They are a majority in my article list after all.
But this article…is not going to be about them.
This one is for those whose marriages ended abruptly and cruelly… this is for those women who lost their loved one in a tragedy and unexpectedly.
As you can expect… its hard for a widowed woman to find love again… and its mainly because of the chip that they carry on their shoulder.
Let me tell you about a friend’s cousin Sarah.
I have a feeling that listening to someone else’s story makes one more empathetic rather than just hearing empty words.
So she married her husband in 1985 and they had been together for close to 23 years.
One day she was making pie for her husband…he always loved cherry pie.
That’s when she got a call that turned her life on its head.
Her beloved hubby had died of a stroke while grocery shopping.
Everything changed that day… and she sold her house and got a job in Sydney.
She wanted to startover.
Things were going pretty well in Sydney… her kids were supportive and everything and they told her to put herself back in the field again.
So the dates began… she met many wonderful men.
And some of those men could have resulted in happy relationships.
But she couldn’t bring herself to do that.
In her eyes… dating someone else was equivalent to cheating.
In her mind she was still married to that man… she couldn’t bring herself to be unfaithful to him.
It took her 2 more years before she finally allowed herself to be happy and to date other men.
If it wasn’t for her children constantly telling her “Mum its ok, I am sure dad would want this for you” it could have been a lot more years.
She found someone who she could be happy with… and they tied the knot on December 2013.
When we lose someone so abruptly our mind continues to be in denial.
Of course you will always love that person.. no one is telling you to not do that, but you have to accept the cold hard truth.
He is never coming back and punishing yourself by “staying loyal” and being “faithful” by not dating someone else is doing yourself a HUGE disservice.
Remember this like a mantra: “You DESERVE to be happy.”